1. The referee is part of the field.

2. The ball is live. Unless it’s dead.

3. The pocket collapses.

4. The goal line extends around the earth, the uprights to the heavens.  

5. When something goes wrong, old men throw handkerchiefs into the air.

6. Punt returners are protected by an invisible halo.

7. Devin Hester makes plays in space.

8. One knee equals two feet.

 

*by Brian Oliu, Jim Hannah, Luke Wortley, and me