“If you go to a party and you leave energized, you’re an extrovert,” I heard someone say once. “If you leave exhausted, you’re an introvert.” 

That definition resonated with me, because I like to go out and be around people, but it takes it out of me, man. So, introvert, right? 

I’m not so sure anymore. I thought about this definition yesterday after a get-together. I talked to a bunch of people, but in every conversation I had to do all the heavy lifting. Asking questions, building on their responses, showing interest. Nothing fancy, just conversation 101–but none of these people reciprocated any of these moves. Was it any wonder I was drained when I left? 

Here’s the thing it did make me wonder, though: am I really an introvert, or is it just exhausting to talk to a line of boors? How would I feel after going to a party with some decent conversationalists?